Inspiration Lifestyle

A Few Words On Eloping…

eloping

So, pretty much five months exactly after we got engaged, we decided to up and elope to New York, just the two of us! We managed to keep the whole thing a secret – don’t ask me how – and it was wonderful!

I know you lovely lot have so many questions about it, so I’m putting together a little tell-all post on why we did it, what we did and where we did it. It’s a bit of a crazy story…

I’m going to preface this by saying that I never grew up dreaming of a big wedding – I’m the only girl out of a family of boys (I have three brothers!), even my mum is pretty laidback when it comes to the whole gal thang.
Anyway, I just never imagined a wedding for myself… I really truly never gave it any thought until we got engaged. I didn’t know what dress I wanted (I decided a few weeks before the elopement!), or have any idea what kind of venue I’d like (church? Probably not. Outdoors? Possibly… imagine worrying about the weather though!)
A wedding was just never something that mattered to me, but as soon as we got engaged, I wanted to get married! I had to lock him down, girls.

What I will say, is that it’s way too easy to get caught up in that Pinterest idea of a wedding!
I had a wedding board that I pinned to a lot in the first few weeks after we got engaged, you just get carried away! Before you know it you have that Kimye flower wall in mind… (totally considered it).
We made a list of what mattered to us – flowers (but not flower walls), speeches, cute photos… – and stuck to the important stuff.

I also felt like a wedding would be a little too much for me, and actually after we eloped I said “that was TOUGH! How the hell would I have coped planning a proper wedding!?” – because really, getting hitched can be a lot to take on, whatever you choose to do.
I admittedly don’t deal well with stress, and Jordan and I also just prefer a pretty hassle-free life. I would never have enjoyed a big day with lots that could go wrong, and I really wanted to relax and feel only good vibes my wedding day. So we just made it a small deal, and in the end it was pretty chill and SO much fun! Also very, very sneaky…

Maybe the biggest issue was the logistics of getting everyone together. I’m very close to my family, and Jordan is to his too. Even just nailing down a small guestlist for an intimate ceremony is one of the hardest things… so we bailed on that pretty quickly.

My family all live in New Zealand, and Jordan’s are all based here in Glasgow, so it was hard to have any sort of wedding traditions. In all honesty, I found wedding planning knowing I couldn’t really include my mum and gran, really, really tough. And with the (still quite recent) passing of Jordan’s mum… I don’t know, it was upsetting to plan a day without her there.
Also, we would never have gotten away with eloping with Jordan’s mum still here, so we thought of it as a final gift from her.

The above combined with everything else was just too much. Both mine and Jordan’s grandparents couldn’t travel at all, so there was no way we would ever get everyone together.
We initially planned to have a very small intimate ceremony in Italy next year, but to ask our loved ones to travel for us was just… a big ask. Eventually we said to one another “if we can’t have everyone there, let’s have no one there!” and that’s exactly what we did. What can I say, we’re selfish!

Eloping worked for us, because we’re laid back and didn’t fancy spending the money on one day, and we don’t have the typical family dynamic. I’m not saying it’s right for everyone, but it was the right thing to do for us!
We decided not to tell anyone because we didn’t want anyone to be upset, or ask to come or talk us out of it.
That was a very good idea because after it was all said and done, our loved ones were only blissfully happy and overjoyed for us (although also very very shocked!!).

So how do I feel about eloping one month on? It’s funny because I really thought I’d want to plan a small ceremony in New Zealand, and have more celebrations, but now I really feel content with what we’ve already done.
After getting back from New York, we had a sort-of wedding party (we planned it as our engagement party – again, sneaky!) and we included a few traditions. I think that’s what I loved most about eloping, we totally took what we wanted from it – we didn’t want the hassle of a wedding party with bridesmaids and all that, but we wanted our closest friends to do speeches (best thing ever!), I didn’t want to walk down the aisle but I was totally okay with a first dance (so much fun!) and we also did little things like cutting the cake, playing our (surprise) wedding video and celebrating with our favourite people!
I also really liked how chilled and carefree I could be on the night of the party, because I felt like I’d already had my day back in New York!

Something I learnt about weddings, and this is something I really want other brides to know, is that after it’s done, you don’t really care about the details! I am just so, so happy to be married to the best guy in the world.
It seemed like such a big deal at the time, but I’m so glad we didn’t throw our life savings at one day, or ask a lot from our loved ones for a day that would be special no matter what.
I learnt a lot about myself when I eloped, and I’m just beyond happy to be spending my life with my favourite person.

So that’s the story of why we eloped! We’re crazy cats. I also uploaded a video here, if you’d like to hear a bit more about the day!

Yay for eloping to your favourite city with the very best person in the world!

29 Comments
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  • This is so so beautiful! It looked incredible and i absolutely love the ideas! I’m not even getting married but the thought of guest lists, etc stresses me out! Such a fab way to celebrate together! X

    http://www.stylepetal.co.uk

  • This is the best thing ever. You’ve totally made me think about wanting to plan my marriage like this too (I mean, not that I’m already engaged or anything). I just Always thought that I’d never have a wedding because both my boyfriend’s and my family have some issues, divorces and people not speaking to eachother and all, so I’d never get them all in one room. And eloping isn’t really a thing around here (little, traditional Flandres). But damn… I could totally picture a day for just the two of us in a Tuscan villa or Paris or Iceland even… You made me dream!

    • This was me, I never thought I’d have a wedding either. I just couldn’t imagine getting everyone together… and then in the end we just did our own thing and it was great haha. Don’t give up on the idea of love and marriage because of your family, just find a way you can make it the best day for yourselves! x

  • Tracey

    Love this. I feel the same on so many points! At the end of the day, what is getting married truly about? Not a pinterest worthy day that costs a fortune, it’s about the two of you being together forever. So, so happy you got to do it your way.
    Tracey x
    girlabouthome.com

  • I was so excited when I saw that you eloped Kate! I agree that planning a wedding can be SO stressful and even frustrating too. Can’t wait to watch your video later on it! xxx

    http://www.natalieleanne.com

  • Good for you for doing what works best for you as a couple! I feel like too many of our wedding day details were decided by family members or done a certain way to please them instead of doing things that felt true to us. Congratulations!

  • Georgette Oosting

    We eloped 15 years ago and though sometimes I miss having worn a wedding dress (I wore chinos and a white shirt) I would not change a thing. Four kids later and we’re still happy!

  • Juliana Paz

    I’ve been engaged for two years and thinking of throwing a wedding still stresses me out. The idea of eloping came into my mind last year and its only sounder better and better. A definite possibility!

    Congratulations you made a stunning bride. To many blissful years!

    xo
    ohhjuliana.com

    • Before I was engaged, I didn’t understand how people had long engagements – Jordan’s sister has been engaged for a few years now actually – but then I got engaged and started planning and I was just overwhelmed. Anyway, once you’re all married, you don’t care. It’s best not to overthink it 🙂 x

  • Kimberly Ann

    My husband and I definitely considered eloping but ended up on a destination wedding on a yacht in socal with only 50 people.. it was laid back and so much fun! New york eloping sounds so great! Congrats! 🙂

    Kim

    http://trendkeeper.me – pink statement wall & a wrap dress!

  • It sounds like it worked out so well for you! I think weddings can spiral and it can be so stressful. I find planning my wedding to be quite stressful to be honest and I wanted it to be very small but it ended up growing into something a bit bigger than we wanted. I can see why you did what you did! x

    LuxeStyle

  • Kelly glen

    I have to say that the above picture of you both looks beautiful, it looks like it could be from a glossy fashion magazine. It just captures you looking so happy and what a lovely couple you are.

  • The picture is beautiful! I can totally understand why you eloped. Good for you!

  • Natalie Redman

    Such a gorgeous picture! Congratulations!

    http://www.upyourvlog.com

  • Congratulations Kate! 😀 I’m so happy for you and Jordan! At the end of the day, a wedding is really about the two of you and being happy together! <3 So glad you guys got to have such a memorable wedding! Loving the photo so much!

    XO, Elizabeth
    https://clothestoyouuu.com/

  • Louise Caparas

    Congratulations, Kate! What you did was selfish, and I love it! Haha! I had a big traditional wedding, took me more than a year to plan it, all while working and finishing my masteral thesis, and to say the least, it was *very* stressful. My hubby and I initially toyed with the idea too of having a small ceremony but thought of how disappointed my family and his family would be if we didn’t invite everyone else. So we ended up inviting everyone else! Looking back on it, I’m still glad and was actually happy to see my family, his family, and all our friends there. But honestly, I never did get to socialise a lot with them because there was just too much going on. Good on ya for doing what you did!

    • I felt like this at our wedding party, it went in a blur!! One big happy blur of running round saying hi to people! I think whatever you do for a wedding, you’ll have the most amazing time – and afterwards you’re just so happy and blissful anyway. It’s the best time x

  • Huge congrats again Kate, you wedding video was so lovely! I think you did it in tbe best way possible, making it about the two of you and having little celebration after where you could really relax and enjoy the cmpany you’re with <3

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Beauty Wellbeing

  • Congratulations! I hated planning my wedding and wanted to elope but it meant a lot to my husband to have a traditional wedding so we went with that.
    Love the photos you’ve been sharing from your elopement.
    -Kathryn xx
    http://hellokathryn.com/

  • Congratulations! I love that you guys eloped! My boyfriend and I talk about the appeal of eloping all of the time, since we fear our wedding with either have to be 10 or 500 people.. there really may be no in between for us which is kind of scary! I’m not sure if we will actually do it, but it’s nice to hear such a positive experience. Plus your photos are so fun and gorgeous!

    xoxo Mollie
    http://www.molliebellezza.com

    • We said this too, you either have everyone or no one!! Well it was wonderful for us, but we did have a few “ARE WE ACTUALLY DOING THIS?” but I don’t regret it one bit. Good luck with your planning, I can promise you you’ll love your day no matter what you do x

  • Sepideh

    What a fun story! I love that you guys stuck to being true to yourselves and doing what felt right. It seemed like you made the right decision for you and you have positive memories associated to your wedding experience.
    I got married last summer and we planned it in 5 months and it was HEC.TIC. I don’t regret it but I understand all the points you bring up – managing family expectations and schedules, budgeting, planning, and then it truly is SO easy to get caught up in the wedding industry and wanting to add on so much crap that you didn’t even think you wanted !!
    At the end of the day, we had a wonderful wedding but what matters is what you said : I married the best guy and that’s the lasting memory that I will have for the rest of my life!
    http://www.elleisforlove.com

  • This post pulled at my heart strings! Such an important reminder to just do you and not buy into everything you seen on pinterest and social media! But as you said eloping isn’t for everyone (so happy it worked for you and I think I’m right in saying you shock EVERYONE! – seriously didn’t know if your insta post was for real at first!) Leading up to this decision or after you first got engaged did you look at any bridal magazines for inspo? If so I’d love to know of any non traditional ones! 🙂 Laura x

    http://www.twohumansliving.com

  • I love this! Good friends of mine did something similar except they sort of told me about it. About 6 months prior to them getting married we went out to dinner and they asked… how upset will be you be if you don’t see us get married? Naturally I thought they called off the wedding or I did something wrong and wouldn’t be invited! Instead they decided to elope in New Zealand just the two of them! I thought it was so perfect and after they had a beautiful wedding party with close friends and family. Honestly, it’s exactly how I imagine I would get married if the right person ever came along. Congrats to you both! xx

  • Anna

    First of all congrats Kate and Jordan! I totally agree with everything you wrote in this post; having a lovely, happy and relaxing wedding day is the most important thing. Some friends of mine decided to elope in Sardinia and they get married in a beautiful little church on the beach. After, they had a lovely small wedding party with family and friends. It was perfect!
    XO
    Anna From Italy

    https://pineapplemakeup.wordpress.com/
    https://society6.com/sierraf31?curator=sierraf31

  • BeckaElena Ceccon

    Hi Dear,
    I love it! We’ll Go to NY in 5 weeks. We would love to do the same. Out of similar reasons. Would you share the contact details from the officiant? Love, Becka

  • Holly

    Ahh firstly, congratulations! Secondly, I have soooo many questions – where did you say ‘I do’? Where is your beautiful dress from? Who took your photos for you? Seriously, it looks and sounds like the perfect day.

    Holly x
    http://www.ldnmuse.com