7 May 2017 35 comments

10 Things I’ve Learned Planning A Wedding.

Being engaged and planning a wedding has been one joyful, emotional, exhausting and action-packed rollercoaster! Some days I love the thought of a big day filled with our favourite people, and other days I just want to run off and get hitched all by ourselves!
I haven’t said much about wedding planning on these pages, so I thought I’d sum up a few things I’ve found whilst prepping for such a big event…

01. It’s a mammoth task. I’ve said before that I didn’t really give my wedding day much thought until I got engaged, and it was only when I got started planning (like, two hours after Jordan proposed) that I realised there were so many elements to a wedding.
I haven’t been to many weddings (three at last count), so maybe that’s why I’m slightly uneducated when it comes to favours, venues, lighting, flowers and catering… oh my, it’s a whole ‘nother world!

02. I’m a laidback gal. I’ve always been quite a casual person when it comes to, well everything really! But I’ve definitely got to know myself a bit better during the wedding planning process.
A lot of things I thought would be important to me have been met with indifference; I want a nice day for us and our loved ones, but the finer details aren’t what matter to me.
In all honestly, I really didn’t know what I would be like when it came to my wedding (I probably have the potential to be a bridezilla, who knows) so finding out I’m chill af about it all has been a relief!

03. It’s hard to keep it intimate. If you’ve had a wedding with under twenty guests, hats off to you! It is almost impossible. I’d say the guest list has been the trickiest part of planning a wedding. We seem to have a small group of really close friends, and then a bigger extended group that maybe we’ve known for a longer time… and don’t even get me started on family! It feels like you either have 4 people there, or 40000. Seriously, I’m one step away from inviting our postman.

04. I had no idea where to even start with a dress! Aaaand I still don’t – I change my mind every day about what kind of gown I want. I think this is made more difficult by the fact that I really want quite a boho, casual dress for the day! It’s been quite a tricky mission, but I feel like I’m making progress… fingers crossed, because at this point anything white and frilly is appealing.

weddingplanning4

05. The cost makes me cry a little. Actually, let’s not go there… I’m not ready to talk about it.

06. Planning comes in waves. I will truly go weeks without lifting a finger when it comes to wedding planning, and then suddenly I’ll get an intense burst of (panic-driven) motivation that sees me tick off entire to-do lists in a few hours. Okay, so maybe I’m like this with everything.

07. It brings up a lot of feels. Planning a wedding without any immediate family in the same country (or even hemisphere) as me has been really difficult. I so wish I could speak to my mum or gran about it all, but the 13hour time difference makes things so hard. I spent the first couple of months feeling so down about not being able to have my family with me as I plan. I feel like everyone else gets to make such a big life event out of all the wedding milestones, but for me it’s just the two of us planning it on our own.
Saying that, I’ve managed to see the positives in this and we’re making our own traditions as we go!

08. You can tailor a wedding to suit you. Some girls dream about a big wedding, and some girls want something small – both are totally fine, and I learnt quickly that it’s okay to do what you want to do. I’m somewhere in the middle, so we’ve been making it up as we go along. I don’t want to walk down an aisle, or have too much attention on me on the day, but I do want a fun day full of love (and cake) – so we’re doing just that!

09. It feels so incredibly exciting! Sometimes I feel like I’m going to burst with excitement and love and happiness when I think about it all. Not even just the wedding day, but the lead-up to it too. Having most of our favourite people in one place, planning a honeymoon, drinking entire bottles of champagne… oh my god, cake tasting!! I hadn’t even considered that. It just feels like the most magical time ever.

10. I just want to be married to him. I’ve met my absolute dream guy and I’m beyond excited to start a new chapter in our lives. It’s seriously such a happy, lovey time, I don’t think I’ve ever felt as settled and content as I have in these last few months. Roll on being a Mrs!

Wedding planning. It is what you make of it. Is anyone else going through these thoughts right now? Should we start a champagne-fuelled support group?

  • Kay

    I totally relate to this on every level. I got really pinterest happy after we got engaged 2 years ago but it got to the point where it actually started to cloud what we wanted as a couple so am now on a self imposed wedding ban. Fiancรจ not working currently so plans are on a hiatus but I found it really stressful tossing up between what my mum wanted for me and what we wanted. To top if off my grandad is no longer around and he was my first choice to walk me down the aisle. So it just all feels a bit flat at the moment. Seriously considering doing the deed at a registry office and not telling anyone and having a huge party later on to make it official!

    Kay x

  • Riley Stewart

    Kate what an excellent post and I think a lot of what you said sums up exactly how I felt a month or two ago. I got married two weeks ago and it has flown by but the actual day was perfect. We had 25’guests for a meal so I felt ours was a really small and intimate wedding. We invited everyone else at night. It was hard to cut it down but the most important people to us were there and it was perfect. It cost under four thousand in total so I just want to put out there that a wedding doesn’t have to cost the earth.
    My dress was Sarah Seven, I knew I wanted her designs from the very start but Pinterest as I’m sure you are aware is a good place to start and then just try some on.
    Most of all enjoy it, just like you said it’s a truly magical time.

  • Dressed With Soul

    Thanks a lot Kate! I agree that planning a wedding is a Mammut task!
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
    http://www.dressedwithsoul.com

  • Oh gosh, it’s SO hard to keep a wedding small. Mine was an ideal of 100 to 300+ in reality… But do try and enjoy it, I actually LOVED the planning season, using spreadsheets and scribbling notes down, just don’t get too overwhelmed!

    Vivian | LIVE . IN . LOVE
    IG | @VIVIYUNN_
    ~

  • Chloe

    I found this so interesting for someone that’s no where near getting married (haha). Beautiful post, it’s lovely getting an insight into personal things, especially something as special as wedding planning.

    Keep up the good work!

    Chloe @ https://girllgonerogue.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Count me in on the champagne support group!!

  • i always thinkk about wedding planning in the most dreamy way but i can only imagine the stress. my boyfriend and i once started thinking about who we would invite and it just got out of hand very quickly…its not my turn to plan a wedding just yet but i’m actually looking forward to it.
    โค๏ธŽ

    http://www.elenaisabelle.com

  • I’m with you on number 8! I didn’t want to walk down an aisle, cut the cake, have a first dance or anything that meant all eyes would be on me at once! I ended up doing all of the above and it’s really not that bad in the end when it’s the two of you having fun, surrounded by all the people you love. We had our immediate family and closest friends at the ceremony (grand total of 34) and everyone else joined us in the evening ๐Ÿ™‚

    Looking forward to reading more about your planning, I’m still debating if I should share more from my wedding on my blog!

    Christy x
    http://www.dinnerstories.co.uk

  • Casey

    I wouldn’t worry so much about not being able to have all of your family around for the planning – it seems to me like that’s just how it is in tv and movie land. My husband and I met in university, but then since I’m Canadian and he’s American and we couldn’t find jobs in each other’s countries, we just had to be long distance for a very long while, until I applied for a fiance visa to move to the US and get married. Once we were approved, then it was SO FAST to figure out how to plan the wedding last minute AND leave my job and move to the US. Everything happened so fast that my family really couldn’t be involved in planning the wedding, but ultimately it was okay. I don’t live near them anyway, so they never would have been that involved even if we had had more time! We ended up having a wonderful casual backyard ceremony that was really very beautiful, and since we were so laid back about it, some people said it was the funnest wedding they’d ever been to. Anyway, my point is that it’s not that unusual to not have your family around to help you plan, and they’ll have an amazing time at your wedding no matter what!

  • Oh my gosh, number 5 definitely makes me cry a little too. I’m not even engaged to my boyfriend yet, but I’m just fearing the day that we’ll have to spend on a wedding, haha! ๐Ÿ˜›
    Camilla | http://cammi.dk

  • First of all, congratulations! I got engaged last September and am in the process of planning our wedding for this upcoming September. Honestly reading this post is kind of a relief, because I have felt just about everything you’re feeling. It’s a roller-coaster of emotions, but at the end of the day the thing I’m most happy about is just being married to my best friend.

    Morgan // http://www.blushingwit.com

  • Aw this is such a lovely post. It sounds like your planning is going well and I’m sure the day itself will be incredible no matter what, because as you say you’re marrying someone you really love
    – Natalie
    http://www.workovereasy.com

  • It’s so lovely hearing about your wedding planning process! <3 ๐Ÿ™‚ I can't be happier for you Kate!

    XO, Elizabeth
    http://clothestoyouuu.com/

  • I love this post. I got married in March and the planning was so fun. I think we’re similar I was quite chill about it and didn’t give a shit about the small things. We had a not-so-traditional wedding and some people in my life weren’t too happy with that (also weren’t happy with our small guest list of 70 people) but stick to your guns and work hard at making it about YOU GUYS! It’s so worth it in the end ๐Ÿ™‚

    Good luck and have fun…. I’m still not ready to talk about the money side ๐Ÿ˜›

    Sarah | More Than Adored

  • Juliana Paz

    This month will make two years that Fiancรฉ and I have been engaged. We have yet to even begin wedding planning. It seems like to can be very overwhelming and at the end of the day I just want to be married already.

    xo
    ohhjuliana.com

  • Lucy

    I am right there with you Kate! It’s like you pulled this list right outta my head. Where’s the sign up sheet for the support group?!

  • Tamira Hamam

    Point #10 is what it’s all about – so excited for you two! It’ll be an amazing day no matter what, so don’t let those panic-driven bursts get the better of you! T xx

  • I’ve only ever been to one wedding and it was beautiful! Everything will fall into place on the day!

    PoppyRKay // poppyrkay.blogspot.co.uk

  • I’m so down for this support group, weekly wine and whine sessions are needed right now haha Can really relate to ALL of these points lol xx

    Karina | http://www.thestyleidealist.com

  • I’m so glad you’re having a lovely time planning Kate! It’s definitely an exciting journey ๐Ÿ™‚
    – Ambar x
    http://www.herlittleloves.co.uk

  • Planning a wedding does sound so overwhelming! But I’m sure yours will be absolutely beautiful and everything will just fall into place!

    Lynnsay x
    http://www.sartorialscot.com

  • I have no man to plan a wedding with haha, but I can imagine it being rather overwhelming. Take full advantage of cake tasting and if there is such a thing as champagne tasting, take advantage of that too. I’m in absolutely no doubt that your wedding will be one of the dreamiest, beautiful ones that has ever been.

    Kara
    http://www.spreadthesparkle.co.uk
    ?

  • Leanne

    this was so lovely to read, even though marriage is not on the cards for me for a while! i’m not surprised narrowing down the guest list is difficult though. i’m sure the postman would love to come x

    http://www.thedressdiaries.co.uk

  • Lovely to hear your updates Kate, and I can only imagine the tasks you’ve got to manage, but as you said it’ll all be totally worth it for a lifetime of happiness <3

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Beauty Wellbeing

  • Chloe

    Lovely post!

  • Vaidehi Deo

    It’s comforting to hear someone going through almost similar stuff. Keeping it intimate ! Imagine an Indian wedding ? It’s huge and thinking of it makes me so so nervous. Also time runs so fast ? We still need to decide outfits, learn to dance, invites, food and so much more and so much less time ?

  • Rachel Emily

    Congratulations on the engagement. I hadn’t really thought about wedding planning itself until I read this and I’m actually a little scared. Luckily I don’t think it’s on the cards for me yet even though now i’m 25+ and in a long-term relationship it seems to be the question on everybodies lips along with “When are you having babies”.

    Lovely post.

    Rachel | http://www.Rachel-Emily.com

  • A.L Sรกnchez

    To one of my friends it was really helpful to try on dresses to see what she liked and what didn’t, and she even liked some that she hated before trying them sounds like a good idea i’m not sure tho haha

  • Miss Loveday

    Hey Kate
    I got married last year and feel your pain… When its over you have so much free time again – its incredible!!!

    Just wanted to suggest a few things to you that I did for my wedding which you might like – I followed you blog for ever and wanted to suggest you look at Alice Temperley dresses – they are much more boho fashion style less bridal but beautiful – I was really lucky and got a lot of help financially for my dress but it really was different to other dresses I’ve seen – and i felt my true self in it.

    Another thing was me and my husband did (It feels great to be able to say that btw) was during the dinner – me and Magnus sat at the head table just the two of us and it was so lovely – as it was one of the only times that we could just talk just the two of us and catch up on our day so far….

    As being married is very fresh in my head & i did organise it pretty quick – i couldn’t stand waiting around a couple of years – i just wanted like you to be married and start my new chapter in life… plus i hate all the anticipation!! I got engaged in the Feb and married in the November – If you need anyone to sound board or vent – i know you dont know me but sometimes thats the best person to sound board off – I’m here! A shiney new wife still buzzing from the wedding high….

    Try and enjoy – its blooming hard too – but at the end of the day – its only a day!

    Lots of love and luck!
    Katy

    PS – as long as theres lots of booze & music the day will be perfect xxx

  • ninegrandstudent

    Definitely agree with making it up as you go along – that’s what we’re doing!

    NINEGRANDSTUDENT: A Lifestyle Blog

  • I’m not even engaged (yet!!) but I think about my wedding all the time. I hope all this ‘pre planning’ I’m doing will be beneficial when it comes to the real thing, but who knows!

  • I feel like all of these points are what I can only imagine planning a wedding is and will be like. I’m also very similar to you in terms of wanting things more casual, a boho dress, and both crying with misery at the cost and crying with happiness about the day. So many feels!

    I also feel you so much about the family thing. Being an expat is both the best thing and worst, and it brings out some of that family sadness with big things like this, such as planning a wedding. All I can say is: sending so much love (I’m sure many of us are doing), and that seeing them on the Big Day will be what matters.

    We’re actually going to begin planning our ‘big day’ soon (we’re actually already married… long story), and I’m both exhilarated and terrified! Will be returning to this post for some TLC and support!

    Eire | Wolf & Stag

  • Olivia Mills

    Hi Kate, Really interesting read. It’s quite a minefield this wedding planning malarkey, isn’t it?! I’d love to be able to help you out. I created “The Online Wedding Planner” http://www.theonlineweddingplanner.com for brides to be – a step by step course on how to plan your wedding. I will pop you an email with all the details – I hope you find it useful ๐Ÿ™‚ Olivia xx

  • Lindsay Davison

    Wedding planning was one of the most stressful times of my life :'( you guys definitely did the right thing by eloping!

    http://www.lindsaydavison.co.uk

  • Whitney

    Congratulations!! Where did you get your wedding dress? I absolutely love it!